As we approach the Jewish New Year of 5782, many take this time for deep reflection and renewal. This period, marked by the month of Elul, encourages us to reflect on the past year, evaluate our actions, and consider their impact on others. It’s a moment for reconciliation, forgiveness, and preparing our hearts for the year ahead.

The Heart of Forgiveness in Jewish Tradition

In Jewish tradition, forgiveness is more than a concept; it is a fundamental practice woven into our daily lives and relationships. It’s not just about uttering “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you,” but seeking genuine reconciliation and healing.

A poignant example is 2 Samuel 13:22. When Absalom was wronged by his brother Amnon, he was advised to confront him directly. Amnon, King David’s son, had wronged his half-sister Tamar, prompting Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, to take drastic action by killing Amnon.¹ This narrative teaches us the importance of addressing issues openly when we’ve been hurt. Sometimes, the offending party may not realize the pain they’ve caused, or misunderstandings may need clarification. It’s our responsibility to initiate reconciliation to prevent lingering resentment and foster genuine healing.

Jewish tradition underscores the importance of making multiple attempts at reconciliation, especially with family members, who are often the ones we both hurt and are hurt by the most. The story of Absalom and Amnon vividly illustrates the necessity of persistent efforts to mend relationships.

Insights from Rabbinical Teachings

Rabbi Avraham Danzig taught that harming another person is profound, and true forgiveness can only be granted once the wrongdoer seeks it.² In other words, one cannot be absolved of wrongdoing until there has been an honest attempt to make things right with the person wronged.

Similarly, Rabbi Yehezkel Levenshtein pointed out that G-d shifts from the Throne of Judgment to the Throne of Mercy when He sees us earnestly seeking reconciliation and forgiveness.³ This reminds us that our actions toward others directly impact our relationship with the Divine.

The Synagogue Service of Rosh Hashanah: A Time for Divine Forgiveness

Rosh Hashanah offers a significant opportunity to seek forgiveness from G-d and ask for blessings in the new year. The prayer service consists of three main sections: Malchuyot, Zichronot, and Shofarot.⁴

• Malchuyot (Sovereignty): This section acknowledges G-d’s authority and unity in controlling all aspects of life. It reminds us to practice love and kindness towards one another.
• Zichronot (Remembrances): We recognize G-d’s ongoing role in our lives, even though we no longer experience direct prophecy. We trust that G-d remembers us and is always present.
• Shofarot (Revelation): This section looks forward, emphasizing that G-d’s revelation is an ongoing process. It’s our responsibility to understand and apply these teachings in our lives.

Rabbi Yair Silverman from Moed in Zichron Yaakov provides insightful reflections on these sections:

“Our prayers beseech G-d to move from the seat of Strict Judgment – Din – to the Seat of Mercy – Rachamim. We ask for life, health, and prosperity. Teshuva (returning to our core self and G-d), Tefila (prayer), and Tzedaka (righteous giving) are the key actions that can sweeten the harshness of G-d’s decree.”⁵

Embracing the New Year with Forgiveness

As we enter the reflective month of Elul and prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we’re given a unique chance to mend relationships, heal old wounds, and reconnect with our inner selves and the Divine. This time of year is not just about making resolutions but about embarking on a meaningful journey through Teshuva (repentance), Tefila (prayer), and Tzedaka (charity), which can lead to profound personal and communal transformation.

Forgiveness: A Path to New Beginnings

As we move into the new year, let’s carry the spirit of forgiveness with us, using it as a tool for renewal and peace. Reflect on your own experiences with forgiveness and think about how you can make amends and seek reconciliation.

May we all find the strength to heal and the wisdom to embrace forgiveness, making it a central and guiding part of our journey ahead. Shana tova ve-metuka—wishing you a sweet and transformative year!

Footnotes:

1. 2 Samuel 13:22 (King James Version). Bible Gateway. Available at: biblegateway.com.
2. Danzig, Rabbi Avraham. Chayei Adam. “Harming another person is profound, and true forgiveness can only be granted once the wrongdoer seeks it.” Sefaria. Available at: sefaria.org.
3. Levenshtein, Rabbi Yehezkel. Tishrei and Yom Kippur. “G-d shifts from the Throne of Judgment to the Throne of Mercy when He sees us earnestly seeking reconciliation and forgiveness.” Chabad.org. Available at: chabad.org.
4. “Rosh Hashanah Overview.” My Jewish Learning. Available at: myjewishlearning.com.
5. “Understanding Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.” Chabad.org. Available at: chabad.org.